THE CONCEPT OF RELATIVE DEPRIVATION
“Comparison is an act of violence against self” – Iyanla Vanzart
I had always thought that the reason for a higher number of suicide cases in developed countries compared to what is obtainable in Africa,especially Nigeria was because of our religion, morals and belief in the sanctity of human life but with deeper reflection and research, I am beginning to reconsider my earlier position.
My reflection began with asking some deep questions (“The quality of the questions you ask, determines the quality of life you get” – Innocent Usar) like, why would somebody with a better access to good roads, security, food, healthcare, education and other basic amenities wake up one morning and take his / her life and somehow feel good about it (Suicide notes usually reveals this). Contrast this person with somebody in Nigeria who has almost zero access to the amenities mentioned above and you would find out that the Nigerian is happier and hopeful. I have heard so many people say that Africans are stronger, rugged and are natural hustlers. We shall find out in a bit if this is true or false.
Permit me to put this in proper perspective by using this analogy to drive home my points.
Imagine working in an organization where people are hardly promoted and so every year just a few people are promoted, there is a likelihood that people don’t get angry about not being promoted because majority have not been promoted. On the flip side of the coin, imagine if majority were promoted and a few not promoted, I can bet you that those few would be extremely sad and start finding fault in the entire promotion process.
I have realized that the happier the people around you, the sadder you become and the sadder you become, the more you gravitate towards depression and suicide. (Do not take this out of context as this is in relation to the analogy above)
So it may be safe to say that many Nigerians are not committing suicide simply because every other person is in the same condition / situation.
“We form our impressions not globally, by placing ourselves in the broadest possible context, but locally -by comparing ourselves to people in the same boat as ourselves” – Samuel Stouffer.
The above statement by Dr. Stouffer could be the reason why somebody in America will take her life because at that point she sees herself as the only sad one in the midst of happy people. It could also be the reason Nigerians are not taking their lives as much as people in the developed economies as most people in their circle are in the same situation. This is the meaning of relative deprivation.
The concept of Relative Deprivation can be empowering or dis-empowering depending on how you choose to apply it to yourself.
Many of us work so hard to send our children to Ivy league schools where the child struggles all through to catch up with the geniuses there and then ends up in the school’s rating as an average student, not because she is not brilliant enough but simply because the child is a small fish in a big pond. This performance affects the child’s self concept and shatters her self confidence even though the same child will exceed expectation if she finds herself in any normal good school. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not saying it is wrong to send your children to the Elite school but this deep counter-intuitive fact cannot just be dismissed.
If you were an employer, would you consider someone who graduated “Summa Cum Laude” (With distinction) and best in her class or someone with average results from an elite school ?
The problem with Relative Deprivation is that people tend to compare themselves with other people in their circle or environment, Just like the student from the elite school is rated average in her school but would definitely be seen as a performer when rated globally.
“A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it, it just blooms” – Zen Shin.
So while suicide cases may reduce in the developed countries when they start looking at their perceived situation from a global perspective, same may not be the true for Nigeria when we begin to benchmark against global indices.
I am strongly of the opinion that most times, It is better to be a Big fish in a small pond than to be a Small fish in a Big pond. However, it is always better to know your current situation as to whether the concept of Relative Deprivation is working in your favor or not as a simple misjudgment can be catastrophic and lead to mediocrity.
“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for something you are not”
Think, Know, Create, Grow.
