THE RULES OF GETTING WHAT YOU WANT
“Everything you want in life is in the hands of someone else, it is your attitude towards that person that will determine whether you will get it or not” – Innocent minds.
“And when you ask, you do not receive it, because your motives are bad…..” – James 4 vs 3.
It is instructive to note that the above bible quote does not only apply to our relationship with God but also our relationship with our fellow “Man”
Have you ever wondered why two people would go to the same person to make a request and one is obliged and the other declined?.
I am sure you have come in contact with people who have been nicknamed sweet mouths simply because you simply can’t refuse them, some people have gone as far as believing that such people use talisman to influence outcomes in their favor.
I will begin by telling you something that happened in a movie I once saw. In this movie, there was a professional pianist who happened to be one of the best and highly sought after to the extent that tickets to all his recitals are usually sold out. And there was also this very young lady who desperately wanted to get an exclusive interview with the pianist but the pianist emphatically refused and so she never asked again but was always showing up wherever the man went and her response when asked by the pianist would always be “I was in the neighborhood”. So on this beautiful day, the pianist was to play before a small audience and again the lady was there, then as he sat to play, he experienced something like a memory seizure that he was just seated there and couldn’t play a single note. The audience was watching and couldn’t fathom why the legend just suddenly couldn’t play, so the lady who also had a little background knowledge in music, noticing the embarrassing situation walked to the grand piano, sat beside the pianist and in-tuned what i would called a bass line and like magic the great pianist started playing with her and it turned out to be a sterling duet performance. when the performance ended, the great Henry Cole (Pianist) whispered to the lady “How about that interview, when would you love to have it”
So what do you think happened there? I will tell you. She was genuinely interested in his well-being. (As simple as that)
The problem many of us have is that we are always only interested in our selves and this comes to light even when we are interacting with people.
The New York Telephone company in their survey of 500 telephone conversations found out that the personal pronoun “I” was used 3,900 times. This unfortunately is the way many of us are wired.
“It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring”- Alfred Adler.
Do you know that little things like greeting the security men and cleaners in a company you visit everyday can save your Job or open more doors for you? Imagine visiting a company as a sales executive and you build rapport with all the junior staff to the extent that you know all their names and even ask after their children, do you think they will allow your competitors easy access to their boss.?
Do you know that a genuine smile may be all you require to get that contract? Or calling someone by his name (respectfully though in view of our diverse culture) Why do you think telemarketers would always call you by your first name? I once has a colleague who would do anything for me simply because I could pronounce his surname correctly. He would always say to everybody that I am the only one in the entire organization who could pronounce his name correctly (Yeah, a person’s name is to him/her the sweetest and most important sound in any language).
Many of us fall into the temptation of thinking we already know people when we really do not know them (Illusion of Asymmetric Insight) therefore, we Ignore what is most important to them, we fail to listen to what is not being said and are shocked when other people walk in and take what we have been asking for over the years without much work.
Life is about negotiations and Influencing people, it is the approach you adopt that determines what you get.
As Dale Carnegie said, it will pay you to become genuinely interested in other people, remember their names, smile, listen to them and sincerely make them feel important.
Think. Create. Grow
